were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
