he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
