We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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