ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
