That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
