dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
