i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you would pick up someone in the library
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
