Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
