God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
