i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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