Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize