she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
