Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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