omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
