well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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