I want to walk on stilts...naked
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
