i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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