I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
