so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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