Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
