her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
