I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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