he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
