is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You're earring is so big in my mouth
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
