AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
