Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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