People in love make me want to vomit
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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