He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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