when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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