just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
