Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
