I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
