I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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