dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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