So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
