If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
A+ Viking dick
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
