Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
