this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
