He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
