yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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