But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
