What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
