I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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