My room smells like vodka and shame
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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