Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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