He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
