Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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