It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
No stitches, just platelets and will power
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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