I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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