my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
