I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
