Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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