guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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