He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
