my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
