We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Everyone says I win the strip club
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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