C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
