I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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