no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
