Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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