are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
