Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
What a dumb baby whore.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
