What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
She announced her abortion via fbk
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
