I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you traded sex for a burrito?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
