Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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